7.27.2011

Unemployment Object Memoirs: A Tribute to Television


I decided to write thank you notes to the various objects that are helping me get through unemployment. This edition is dedicated to Television.
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Dear Television,

What happened to us? I remember a mediocre childhood filled with lively anecdotes about how my parents would spend their childhoods running around outside, while all I managed to do each summer was stare at you, Television, and watch my stories while casually sipping glasses of iced tea. Yes, it seems that even back then, I was a grumpy 75-year old woman stuck in the body of a child. Where the f*ck are my glasses?

Anyway, Television, in recent years, we have become estranged, as I am now able to watch nearly anything I want, whenever I want on the interwebs. Hope was all but lost for you until I came back to my parents’ house a few months back and discovered they had hooked a computer to you! Now I can watch television on the computer on the television! In my unemployed fury, I am able to watch countless hours of Netflix before the price of my subscription becomes too expensive for me to afford ($16/month)!

As I was perusing through the computer on you, Television, I noticed a video on YouTube about taking control of your life. A psychologist who went to some online school that’s accredited in Fiji made the video. With such solid credentials, I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to get my life back together, so I grabbed some iced tea and hit play. The barely licensed psychologist suggested to me (yeah, that’s right, he was talking directly to ME. That’s how the interwebs work) that I make a list comparing my standards during a good period of my life to my standards now. Then I can figure out what specifically I need to change!







 
Things that need to be changed in my life: Everything.


At least I still have Netflix…until September,

Mala

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Unemployment Object Memoirs by Mala Kumar are licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution .