I decided to write thank you notes to the various objects that are helping me get through unemployment. This edition is dedicated to Pencil.
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Dear Pencil,
While recently reconnecting with Pad of Paper, I realized that I have not properly paid tribute to you and your valuable contributions getting me through this unnecessarily long and ironic case of unemployment.
Our relationship started many years ago, Pencil, as you have faithfully served me so well. In middle school, you erased embarrassing things I wrote on my notebook, like “I heart the Spice Girls!” And in high school, you stuck by my side, erasing embarrassing things I wrote in my notebooks, like “I heart the Spice Girls!” Still, in college, you were there, erasing embarrassing things I wrote in my notebooks, like “I miss the Spice Girls!” But Pencil, I suppose there are no Pencil erasers that can correct the bigger mistakes of life, like doubting Justin Timberlake’s solo career and going to grad school. When the scientists of the world do invent such an eraser, Pencil, be sure to let me know on Facebook, so I can write dreamily about it in my Spice Girls notebook. I mean Justin Timberlake notebook. Damnit.
Pencil, you are also so good for illustrating important points. Just last week, I was interviewed for a job in the UK that involves using a Monocle, spitting whilst talking, and using British-sounding words, such as “whilst.” As this job involves knowing a great deal about England, the recruiter gave me colored versions of you, Pencil, to draw a map demonstrating my knowledge of the Queen's island. Unfortunately, World Map was busy, but I did very well! See?
Of course, before I turned my map in to the recruiter, I realized I made a crucial mistake! So I used you, Pencil, to correct the folly!
Silly me, I forgot Loch Ness’s hat! Also, I put London on the wrong side.
Sadly, my application for the job was revoked once the recruiter realized I thought “Esq.” means I believe myself to be “exquisite.” But no matter. You are always there for me, and you are Esq, Pencil. Together, we will continue write and erase embarrassing thoughts whilst illustrating important features of the UK, like the Spice Girls! Unemployment shall be conquered!
With Loch Ness,
Mala
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Dear Pencil,
While recently reconnecting with Pad of Paper, I realized that I have not properly paid tribute to you and your valuable contributions getting me through this unnecessarily long and ironic case of unemployment.
Our relationship started many years ago, Pencil, as you have faithfully served me so well. In middle school, you erased embarrassing things I wrote on my notebook, like “I heart the Spice Girls!” And in high school, you stuck by my side, erasing embarrassing things I wrote in my notebooks, like “I heart the Spice Girls!” Still, in college, you were there, erasing embarrassing things I wrote in my notebooks, like “I miss the Spice Girls!” But Pencil, I suppose there are no Pencil erasers that can correct the bigger mistakes of life, like doubting Justin Timberlake’s solo career and going to grad school. When the scientists of the world do invent such an eraser, Pencil, be sure to let me know on Facebook, so I can write dreamily about it in my Spice Girls notebook. I mean Justin Timberlake notebook. Damnit.
Pencil, you are also so good for illustrating important points. Just last week, I was interviewed for a job in the UK that involves using a Monocle, spitting whilst talking, and using British-sounding words, such as “whilst.” As this job involves knowing a great deal about England, the recruiter gave me colored versions of you, Pencil, to draw a map demonstrating my knowledge of the Queen's island. Unfortunately, World Map was busy, but I did very well! See?
Of course, before I turned my map in to the recruiter, I realized I made a crucial mistake! So I used you, Pencil, to correct the folly!
Silly me, I forgot Loch Ness’s hat! Also, I put London on the wrong side.
Sadly, my application for the job was revoked once the recruiter realized I thought “Esq.” means I believe myself to be “exquisite.” But no matter. You are always there for me, and you are Esq, Pencil. Together, we will continue write and erase embarrassing thoughts whilst illustrating important features of the UK, like the Spice Girls! Unemployment shall be conquered!
With Loch Ness,
Mala
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